EVERYTHING IN A YEAR	(Dr. Snark)
Words and music copyright 2007 Paul Estin (v. Aug10, orig. Feb16)

/ E G A D / D A G E / (3x)
January 1st it started with the Big Bang
From there the entire universe sprang.
Next we fast-forward up to May Day
'Cause right about then we got the Milky Way.
The solar system formed around September 9
September 14th, Earth was in that sunshine.
	/ F - C - / Am - G - / F - C - / Am - D - - /
	After Labor Day, life made its debut
	The oldest known rocks formed October 2.
	The oldest fossils formed about a week later
	But just blue-green algae, nothing much greater.
Hallowe'en brought the invention of sex
Only microorganisms, not too complex.
Mid-November plants photosynthesized
And cells with nuclei did arise

		/ G - D - / A - E - / (2x)
		It's the history of the whole universe
		Compressed into 12 months; that's very terse!
		Let's make the timeline perfectly clear
		The history of everything... in a year!

The start of December, oxygen built up
First worms on the 16th, maybe in Europe,
On the 17th the Cambrian exploded
Plankton and trilobites had the waters loaded.
On the 19th came a new milestone
Fishes with the first backbones.
	The 20th brought plants onto the land
	The next day some animals copied that plan.
	Amphibians and insects December 22
	The next day, trees and reptiles joined the zoo.
Dinosaurs arrived on Christmas Eve
And mammals on the 26th, or so we believe.
December 27th was the age called Jurassic
The first birds appeared to make it a classic.
	Flowers came the 28th, dinosaurs went extinct
	December 29th, the first primates blinked.
	The very next day, the first hominids showed
	The Pliocene ended, less than one day to go

		It's the history of the whole universe
		Compressed into 12 months; that's very terse!
		Let's make the timeline perfectly clear
		The history of everything... in a year!

The first true humans finally appeared
An hour and a half before the New Year.
Stone tools spread around 11 PM
Next, fire was tamed by Peking Men:
They finally rubbed together two sticks
Sometime around 11:46.
	With four minutes left until midnight
	The last glacial age gave the humans frostbite.
	Australia was settled 11:58
	Europe painted caves, so they looked just great!
40 seconds to go, agriculture was invented
With 25 left the first cities ascended.
10 seconds to go, there came Sumer and Egypt
The alphabet came with 9 seconds to skip
8 seconds left came the Hammurabi code
Greeks, Trojans, Bronze Age, 7 to go
Olmecs, then the very first compass
Iron Age and technological rumpus
	Assyria, Israel, Carthage with 6
	Ch'in, Pericles, Buddha -- the final 5 ticks.
	Four seconds left, Euclid and Archimedes
	The Romans Empired while Christ ate his Wheaties...
The zero was invented with just three seconds left
Mayans, the Sung, and Byzantium had heft
With two seconds to go, there came the Crusades
Renaissance and voyages of discovery were made
Next experimental science beckoned
And the last 400 years... took only... one second....

		It's the history of the whole universe
		Compressed into ONE SONG; that's even WORSE!
		Let's make the timeline perfectly clear
		The history of everything... in a year!